How to Choose a Funeral Director: A Guide for Families.
- completefuneralcare
- Jun 9
- 8 min read
When someone dies, families are often faced with making important decisions at a time when emotions are high and concentration can be difficult.
Choosing a funeral director is one of the most significant decisions you'll make. The right funeral director will guide you through the practical arrangements, provide reassurance during a difficult time, and help create a meaningful farewell that reflects the life of the person who has died.
With many funeral providers available, how do you know which one is right for you?
The truth is that there is no single "best" funeral director. The right choice is the funeral director who listens to your wishes, respects your budget, communicates openly, and provides the care and support your family needs.
This guide explains some of the key things to consider when making that decision.
Start with Trust and Reputation
A funeral director is someone you may only need once or twice in your lifetime, so it's natural to feel unsure where to begin.
Recommendations from family, friends, neighbours, healthcare professionals, hospices, care homes, or faith leaders can be a good starting point. Online reviews can also provide valuable insight into the experiences of other families.
Look beyond star ratings and read what people have actually written. Are families mentioning compassion, communication, professionalism, and support? These qualities are often far more important than the size of the company or the appearance of the premises.
Consider Whether You Want an Independent or Corporate Funeral Director
Many people are surprised to learn that funeral directors can be either independently owned businesses or part of larger national organisations.
Neither is automatically better than the other, but there are differences worth considering.
Independent funeral directors are often owner-managed and can provide a highly personal service, with arrangements handled by the same people throughout.
Larger organisations may offer broader resources and multiple branches with more flexibility on location, but families may not always deal with the same person from beginning to end.
The most important question is:
"Do I feel comfortable with the people supporting me?"
The relationship you build with your funeral director can make a significant difference during what is often one of the most difficult periods in your life.
Check Qualifications and Professional Standards
Funeral directing is a profession that requires knowledge, compassion, professionalism, and a commitment to caring for families at some of the most difficult times in their lives.
While qualifications, professional memberships, and licensing can provide reassurance, it is important to remember that they are only one part of the picture.
Many funeral directors have spent years, and in some cases decades, serving their communities with exceptional care and dedication. Some may have gained their knowledge and expertise through practical experience rather than formal qualifications.
Qualifications should therefore be viewed as one indicator of professional development rather than the sole measure of a funeral director's ability or compassion.
When speaking with a funeral director, you may wish to ask:
What experience do you have in funeral service?
Do you undertake ongoing training or professional development?
Are you a member of a recognised trade association?
Do you hold any professional qualifications or licences?
How do you ensure high standards of care?
A professional funeral director should be happy to discuss their experience, training, and approach to caring for families.
Ultimately, qualifications, experience, professionalism, compassion, and trust all play an important role in helping families choose the funeral director that feels right for them
Look for Professional Memberships and Licensing
Unlike some professions, there is currently no legal requirement for funeral directors in England and Wales to hold formal qualifications or belong to a professional body.
This makes it even more important for families to look for funeral directors who voluntarily commit to recognised standards, training, and professional accountability.
When researching funeral directors, look for membership of established trade organisations such as:
These organisations require members to follow codes of practice and maintain professional standards designed to protect and support the families they serve.
You may also wish to ask whether your funeral director holds a professional licence.
The British Institute of Funeral Directors (BIFD) operates a professional licensing scheme for funeral directors. Licensed Funeral Directors are required to undertake Continuing Professional Development (CPD), demonstrate professional competence, and maintain high standards throughout their careers.
When meeting with a funeral director, don't be afraid to ask:
Are you a member of NAFD, SAIF, or another recognised professional body?
Do your staff undertake ongoing training?
Are any members of your team BIFD Licensed Funeral Directors?
What professional qualifications do your staff hold?
A reputable funeral director will welcome these questions and be happy to explain the standards they work to.
Looking for recognised memberships and professional licensing can provide valuable reassurance that your loved one will be cared for with dignity, respect, and professionalism.
Ask for Clear and Transparent Pricing
Funeral costs can vary significantly between providers, which is why transparency is so important.
Following an investigation by the Competition and Markets Authority (CMA), funeral directors are now required to provide certain pricing information in a standardised format to help families compare services more easily. This includes a Standardised Price List, information about additional options, crematorium costs, and key terms of business.
When researching funeral directors, take time to review their published pricing information. A professional funeral director should be open and transparent about their fees and happy to explain what is included and what may incur additional costs.
You should feel comfortable asking:
What is included in the quoted price?
Are there any third-party costs not included?
What optional extras are available?
Can the service be tailored to my budget?
Can I have a written estimate before making a decision?
Good funeral directors understand that every family's circumstances are different and should never pressure you into spending more than you wish.
The cheapest option is not always the best value, and the most expensive option is not necessarily the most appropriate. The key is understanding exactly what is being offered so that you can make an informed decision that feels right for your family.
Consider the Level of Personalisation Available
Every life is unique, and every funeral should be too.
Some families prefer a simple unattended cremation, while others wish to organise a traditional service, burial, celebration of life, or a completely bespoke farewell.
Ask whether the funeral director can accommodate:
Religious services
Non-religious ceremonies
Personal music choices
Visual tributes
Unique venues
Eco-friendly options
Family involvement in the arrangements
Cultural or traditional requirements
The best funeral directors listen carefully to what matters most to your family and help create a service that truly reflects the individual being remembered.
Pay Attention to Communication
One of the clearest signs of a good funeral director is how they communicate.
Do they answer your questions patiently?
Do they explain things clearly?
Do they return calls and emails promptly?
Do they make you feel supported rather than rushed?
Families often remember kindness, empathy, and reassurance long after the funeral itself.
You should never feel pressured into making decisions before you're ready or choosing options that don't feel right for your family.
Ask About Care of the Person Who Has Died
Many families find comfort in understanding how their loved one will be cared for.
You may wish to ask:
Where will they be cared for?
Who is responsible for looking after them?
Can family members visit if they wish?
What procedures are in place to ensure dignity and respect?
How are identification and care standards maintained?
What happens if i have questions outside office hours?
A professional funeral director should be able to answer these questions confidently and compassionately.
Your loved one should be treated with the same care, dignity, and respect that you would expect for a member of your own family.
Remember That You Have a Choice
Many people believe they must use a particular funeral director because a hospital, care home, hospice, coroner's office, or another organisation has suggested one.
In reality, the choice is always yours.
You are entitled to contact any funeral director you feel is right for your family, regardless of where the death occurred.
Families should feel confident comparing funeral directors, asking for written estimates, and reviewing Standardised Price Lists before making a decision. The CMA introduced these measures specifically to help consumers make informed choices and avoid feeling pressured at a difficult time.
While recommendations can be helpful, the final decision should always be based on who you feel most comfortable entrusting with your loved one's care.
No hospital, hospice, care home, GP surgery, or other organisation can insist that you use a particular funeral director. The decision belongs entirely to you and your family.
It's Okay to Change Your Mind
Many families are unaware that choosing a funeral director is not necessarily a decision that cannot be changed.
In most circumstances, if you have instructed a funeral director but later feel they are not the right fit for your family, you are entitled to explore other options and transfer the care or arrangements to another funeral director.
There are many reasons why a family may decide to do this, including:
Communication has broken down.
They feel rushed or pressured into making decisions.
Costs have not been explained clearly.
Their wishes are not being listened to.
They simply feel more comfortable with another funeral director.
Changing funeral directors can feel daunting, particularly during an emotional and stressful time, but a professional funeral director will understand that families must feel confident in the people caring for their loved one.
In rare occasions or circumstances in which families choose to transfer arrangements to another funeral director, there may be practical, contractual, or financial considerations depending on the stage of the arrangements.
If a transfer is required, the new funeral director will often be able to guide you through the process, liaise with the previous funeral director where appropriate, and explain any practical or financial considerations involved.
The most important thing to remember is that you should never feel trapped or obligated to continue with arrangements if you genuinely believe another funeral director would better meet your family's needs.
Your loved one. Your funeral. Your choice.
Likewise, families should never feel pressured into making an immediate decision. Take the time you need to ask questions, compare options, and choose the funeral director who feels right for you and your loved ones.
A funeral director should earn your trust through professionalism, transparency, and compassion—not through pressure or assumptions.
Trust Your Instincts
Ultimately, choosing a funeral director is about trust.
You should feel listened to, respected, and supported throughout the entire process.
If something doesn't feel right, it is perfectly acceptable to ask further questions, seek a second opinion, or even change funeral directors if you feel another provider would better meet your needs.
The right funeral director won't simply organise a funeral. They will guide you through one of life's most difficult moments with care, compassion, and professionalism.
How Complete Funeral Care Can Help?
At Complete Funeral Care, we believe that families deserve clear guidance, honest pricing, and compassionate support without pressure or sales tactics.
As an independent funeral director serving the New Forest, Southampton, Totton, Romsey, New Milton, and surrounding areas, we are committed to providing personal care, professional advice, and funeral arrangements tailored to each family's wishes.
Our very own Charlie is a BIFD Licensed Funeral Director which she renews yearly with hours of CPD.
With over 17 years of experience in funeral service she is Qualified by, and a former Chair of, the NAFD (Southampton & District). Our commitment to ongoing professional development and high standards of care sits at the heart of everything we do.
Whether you are looking for a direct cremation, a simple funeral service, a traditional burial, or a fully bespoke farewell, we are here to guide you every step of the way.
Because we're here to serve, not to sell.
Need Advice?
If you have recently experienced a bereavement and would like guidance on arranging a funeral, our team is available 24 hours a day to offer support and answer your questions.
📞 0800 7555 385
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